ASHES & ANSWERS

SCRIPTURES REFERENCED

Genesis 16:13; Habakkuk 1:2-4; Psalm 13:1-2; Psalm 82:2-4; Isaiah 30:18; Romans 12:19; Genesis 22; Genesis 16; Genesis 21; Daniel 3; Psalm 34:18; Psalm 56:8; Isaiah 43:2; Romans 8:26-28; Matthew 5:5; Philippians 2:8; 1 Peter 2:23; Psalm 7:15-16; Proverbs 21:1; Daniel 2:21; Psalm 75:7

BEHIND THE SONG

Ashes and Answers is a lament born in the long middle - the place where faith endures even when outcomes haven’t arrived yet. It speaks from the ache between prayer and resolution, where questions are real, obedience is costly, and hope feels fragile but not gone.

The song gives voice to a mother who has acted with courage, integrity, and persistence - documenting, praying, complying, forgiving - and is still waiting while systems falter and injustice drags its feet. Her lament isn't faithless; it's faithful honesty, brought directly to a God she trusts enough to question.

Structured like a modern psalm, the song moves from anguish to assurance - not by explaining suffering away, but by revealing God’s nearness within it. God’s response isn't distant or dismissive, but deeply personal: a reminder that waiting isn't abandonment, silence isn't absence, and patience flows from love, not indifference.

Drawing from the accounts of Hagar, Job, Esther, the fiery furnace, and the prophets, Ashes and Answers affirms a God who sees what courts overlook, hears prayers spoken through tears, and guards the vulnerable with fierce, attentive care. God’s justice may unfold slowly, but it's never inactive - and His presence never leaves those who cry out to Him.

This song is for those standing in the ashes with trembling faith - still asking hard questions, still showing up, still loving fiercely - and discovering that God isn't far off, but close, compassionate, and steadfast, even here.

LYRICS

She comes back from his house with silence in her eyes

Like her joy got evicted and nobody one asks why

Her smile's rationed

Her hugs feel thin

She's six, God

She don't know where You begin

I'm tired of fightin' like this courtroom is Sinai

Where they read my motherhood through biased eyes

You say You're El Roi, 'the God Who Sees'

Then why does my girl still cry in her sleep?

I've documented, prayed

I've tried to forgive

But justice crawls like glaciers while he gets to live

Like this never happened

Like I'm overreacting

While she regresses, and he keeps gaslighting

I saw it all

Every hand not held

Every time she whispered what she couldn't tell

I watched when he smiled and you bit your tongue

And I caught every tear when you called Me and felt none

I've been holy

I've been humble

I played it straight

But now I'm asking

Where are You?

Why the wait?

You said 'vengeance is Mine,' but You feel so still

Like You're watchin' me drown and just callin' it 'Your will'

I'm not Job

I'm not Esther

I'm not a saint

I'm just a mom with receipts and bills I can't pay

He won't even help with her teeth or her meds

But smiles in court like he's righteous instead

I write Psalms in court filings

Raw and undone

But it's hard to praise when I can't see the sun

God, You split seas, You raised bones from graves

But all I see is her ache, and my faith starting to cave

Is this another test like Abraham on the hill?

Do You want me to lay down what I already rebuilt?

You said 'be still,' but my stillness feels like chains

And I'm startin' to wonder if You even remain

You want answers?

Good

I'm not a God of fog

I been here since the first bruise of your heart

I walked you out of that house with the slammed doors

Put My angels on post when he stood near yours

Don't mistake My patience for absence

Don't confuse the process with silence

Justice delayed is not justice denied

My ink may write slower

But My ink never lies

You think I've left you?

Daughter, please

I stood by you every court date

Every whispered plea

You want 'Elijah' fire?

I gave you Meekness

You want thunder?

But I gave her peace in pieces

You think it's over because the judge didn't nod

I overrule rulings

I'm still God

The system is flawed

But I am not

And your obedience

That's shakin' hell on the spot

Remember Hagar?

Cast out, unseen, abused

I gave her a well

I gave her Me

As I've done for you

And your girl

She's MY girl

(Don't you forget)

She's learning resilience

(No, don't you forget)

He thinks he's winning

Let him

The pit he digs is the place I will send him

But you?

You'll rise, scarred and sacred

You'll walk out like Shadrach

Faith upgraded

Not even the smell of the flames on your robe

Not even the scent of despair in your home

Don't give me your 'Sunday best'

I want this grit

Don't give up the fight

You were BORN for it

And when the last gavel falls

And the fake thrones fade

You'll see:

I used every blow to carve your blade

I was in her whisper

I was in your pain

I was in your midnight drive sayin' My name

When your faith was fading

And the lies grew loud

I built your crown in the fire

And girl, look at you now